my thoughts

I’m supposed to be solving those sophisticated mathematic equation NOW…but ended up blogging! Haha! Since I’ve abandoned this blog for centuries, I thought it would be okay to spend some time here!

Today, I looked into the records of my past (mostly in high school) and realized how much I’ve changed! It reminds me of how lazy I used to be (perhaps I’m still a bit lazy now). How messy my room was! How playful I was! How childish I had been! Yet, I’m contented with what I’d scored in SPM. It wasn’t that bad after all!

Life isn’t simple! It’s complicated! Life isn’t fair! Despite all the effort, I get nothing but disappointment! In spite of all the work I’ve done, I’m still a loser! The As I used to own have vanished! And my confident is fading away! How pathetic! Feeling like going for a cliff diving! Diving into the vast blue ocean would be the best way to wash off the pain in me that is forming a hole in my heart. The hole grows even bigger when disappointment strikes and some times, it felt like an indescribable force was tiring it apart. I could image the wave storming against the wall of the cliff, producing white clouds that disappear few seconds later. If I were to cliff dive, the furious waves could be strong enough to put me into unconsciousness and be in peace without all the worries and stress.

But, I’m not prepared to face death yet. There’s still many mysterious things out there in the universe, patiently waiting to be explored… and I WILL NOT let them down!