it's like i've had a dream... a dream that pay a vy expensive price... what have i got my self into this time? lots of trouble awaits my arrival back home... this is probabily my biggest weakness... what am i suppose to do? is there anyone out there who could tell me what's my next step? what do i really want? i'm sorry... it was really hard back there... i couldnt take it... i even wanted to end my life if i stay another day.... i'm really sorry...