Friday, December 24, 2010
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Sunday, July 25, 2010
A brief history of time
“We go about our daily lives understanding almost nothing of the world. We give little thought to the machinery that generates the sunlight that makes life possible, to the gravity that glues us to an Earth that would otherwise send us spinning off into space, or to the atoms of which we are made and on whose stability we fundamentally depend. Except for children (who don’t know enough not to ask the important questions), few of us spend much time wondering why nature is the way it is; where the cosmos came from, or whether it was always here; if time will one day flow backward and effects precede causes; or whether there are ultimate limits to what humans can know.”
Monday, July 12, 2010
It's ganna be a terrible day!
Tomorrow's going to be a terrible day! I'll be receiving atleast an exam paper filled with red crosses! Damn! I have no one to blame but myself! I was or perhaps am such a fool to underestimate the difficulty of mathematic 2's questions! Arrg! Of all days, why did it has to be tomorrow! Don't feel like attending school tomorrow!
Thursday, July 8, 2010
4 months before the arrival of STPM!
I’ve never score well in exams! Especially when it comes to stpm! Sometimes I wonder, why can’t I score? I came to realize that I failed to understand the questions! I don’t know what they want as an answer! or more precisely, what do they mean! (mostly in chemistry!) Failed to understand the question equals to fail to answer them! And failing to answer them equals to not being able to score well!
I don’t know! I really don’t know! It’s bothering me! Maybe I didn’t work hard enough! Maybe I’ve been taking things too easily! Maybe I have not done enough exercises! Or Maybe I just don’t have the brains! Could these be the answers to all my doubts?
Come to think of it, I’ve met people who could score well easily! These people could give an astonishing amount of output with just a little input! As for me, I required a tremendous amount of input for an extremely small amount of output! I act more like a step down transformer! Hate it! Hate it thought! This isn’t fair!
With all these thoughts swimming in my head, I started to worry. I fear that I’ll not do well in my degree! Honestly, the thing I fear the most (now) is that I failed to get a place in University Malaya! I fear that I’ll not get the course I desired the most, Physics! I can’t imagine what would it be like if I don’t get what I want!
I could see my childhood dreams fading away. My ambition vanished! Then, heavy grey clouds filled the empty path. And my future turns grey. Lightnings strike across the darken path. Thunder started to storm. Tiny droplets begin to fall. My life became meaningless. No dreams. No ambition. No direction.
As a result, I’ve ought to do well in stpm! If I’ve failed, I’m as good as dead! If I’ve succeeded, my dreams could be achieved.
I don’t know! I really don’t know! It’s bothering me! Maybe I didn’t work hard enough! Maybe I’ve been taking things too easily! Maybe I have not done enough exercises! Or Maybe I just don’t have the brains! Could these be the answers to all my doubts?
Come to think of it, I’ve met people who could score well easily! These people could give an astonishing amount of output with just a little input! As for me, I required a tremendous amount of input for an extremely small amount of output! I act more like a step down transformer! Hate it! Hate it thought! This isn’t fair!
With all these thoughts swimming in my head, I started to worry. I fear that I’ll not do well in my degree! Honestly, the thing I fear the most (now) is that I failed to get a place in University Malaya! I fear that I’ll not get the course I desired the most, Physics! I can’t imagine what would it be like if I don’t get what I want!
I could see my childhood dreams fading away. My ambition vanished! Then, heavy grey clouds filled the empty path. And my future turns grey. Lightnings strike across the darken path. Thunder started to storm. Tiny droplets begin to fall. My life became meaningless. No dreams. No ambition. No direction.
As a result, I’ve ought to do well in stpm! If I’ve failed, I’m as good as dead! If I’ve succeeded, my dreams could be achieved.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Thursday, June 24, 2010
The person who lies deep inside me!
some times, there are feelings in me, which only certain people could understand...only those who know me well enough! only those whom i've shared my secret with! my inner thoughts has recently been updated!
Friday, June 18, 2010
My Dreams
It’s been for a while since my brain worked unconsciously while I was asleep. Dreaming. It started to bother me again when I began to take my studies seriously, meaning work a little harder!
Dreaming is just like an atom where electrons orbit the protons that lie within the center core. Throughout my life, 98 percent of my dreams were made up of the electrons! In other words, nightmares!
Most of them were about me, struggling through different tasks to survive but ended up being “hurt” by all sorts of weapons! Mostly, knife! Well, I couldn’t really die in these dreams because by the time the knife touched my skin, my eyes opened out of fear! However, there were times when I felt the pain as the sharpen metal poked though my flesh, yet, it didn’t last for long. I’ll certainly jump out of bed when pain is detected! It’s a reflex, can’t help! And guess what, the culprit that cause the pain was actually the metal bars surrounding three sides of my bed! (One of my fingers was stuck between two narrowing bars!) Despite the pain, they aren’t the worse sorts of dreams I’d had!
Dreaming is just like an atom where electrons orbit the protons that lie within the center core. Throughout my life, 98 percent of my dreams were made up of the electrons! In other words, nightmares!
Most of them were about me, struggling through different tasks to survive but ended up being “hurt” by all sorts of weapons! Mostly, knife! Well, I couldn’t really die in these dreams because by the time the knife touched my skin, my eyes opened out of fear! However, there were times when I felt the pain as the sharpen metal poked though my flesh, yet, it didn’t last for long. I’ll certainly jump out of bed when pain is detected! It’s a reflex, can’t help! And guess what, the culprit that cause the pain was actually the metal bars surrounding three sides of my bed! (One of my fingers was stuck between two narrowing bars!) Despite the pain, they aren’t the worse sorts of dreams I’d had!
The WORSE sort of dreams I’d had were about solving mathematic and physic questions, which I find them extremely annoying! It’s as if my brain didn’t want to give me a break after a whole day of studying! Er, perhaps, few hours… well, honestly,you don’t really think that I’ll sit in front of my desk and study for twelve long hours do you? I’ll go crazy! I can’t even sit still for two hours, unless I am forced to (not by myself of course!). Anyway, these are the REAL nightmarish dreams! (for me!) Because when I wake up few hours later, I’ll definitely be tired! It’s as thought I’d gone though a restless night, which I hadn’t! ( if i had... atleast i'd studied!)
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Monday, June 7, 2010
Life's like a candle
This evening, I’ve experienced the most exciting ride in the LRT. The train with 4 coaches moved in full speed after departing from taman paramau’s platform… out of a sudden, it stopped, which had caused most of the passenger to fall forward.
Even the doors slide open due to the force of momentum…I was astonished! The doors are supposed to be lock!! the train kept moving and braking without warning until it reached kelana jaya’s platform! ( it did STOP at taman bahagia station but th doors remained shut!)
While I was in the train, there was a moment when something stupid flashed thruogh my mind. I thought the coaches were going to crash into something if it hadn’t open the doors at the last station and that I was going to die.
I felt both greatful and silly when the doors slide open. As I step onto the platform, I suddently thought of a poem which I’d learnt agers ago, a poem which was written centuries ago by the greatest poet, William Shakespeare.
The orangy red flame could be wipeout easily. Whenever the moving molecules in the air pass by the flaming candle, the fire vanishes, leaving behind nothing but white fumes.
Life's like a candle, it could end rapidly without warnings. Death's like the wind, it would just take you away, leaving you alive in other's memories.
Even the doors slide open due to the force of momentum…I was astonished! The doors are supposed to be lock!! the train kept moving and braking without warning until it reached kelana jaya’s platform! ( it did STOP at taman bahagia station but th doors remained shut!)
While I was in the train, there was a moment when something stupid flashed thruogh my mind. I thought the coaches were going to crash into something if it hadn’t open the doors at the last station and that I was going to die.
I felt both greatful and silly when the doors slide open. As I step onto the platform, I suddently thought of a poem which I’d learnt agers ago, a poem which was written centuries ago by the greatest poet, William Shakespeare.
The orangy red flame could be wipeout easily. Whenever the moving molecules in the air pass by the flaming candle, the fire vanishes, leaving behind nothing but white fumes.
Life's like a candle, it could end rapidly without warnings. Death's like the wind, it would just take you away, leaving you alive in other's memories.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Thursday, February 4, 2010
my thoughts
I’m supposed to be solving those sophisticated mathematic equation NOW…but ended up blogging! Haha! Since I’ve abandoned this blog for centuries, I thought it would be okay to spend some time here!
Today, I looked into the records of my past (mostly in high school) and realized how much I’ve changed! It reminds me of how lazy I used to be (perhaps I’m still a bit lazy now). How messy my room was! How playful I was! How childish I had been! Yet, I’m contented with what I’d scored in SPM. It wasn’t that bad after all! 
Life isn’t simple! It’s complicated! Life isn’t fair! Despite all the effort, I get nothing but disappointment! In spite of all the work I’ve done, I’m still a loser! The As I used to own have vanished! And my confident is fading away! How pathetic! Feeling like going for a cliff diving! Diving into the vast blue ocean would be the best way to wash off the pain in me that is forming a hole in my heart. The hole grows even bigger when disappointment strikes and some times, it felt like an indescribable force was tiring it apart. I could image the wave storming against the wall of the cliff, producing white clouds that disappear few seconds later. If I were to cliff dive, the furious waves could be strong enough to put me into unconsciousness and be in peace without all the worries and stress. 
But, I’m not prepared to face death yet. There’s still many mysterious things out there in the universe, patiently waiting to be explored… and I WILL NOT let them down!
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